half a cat

What's bloody and has two legs? Half a cat.

Monday, January 30, 2006

i see GROWTH on the horizon

since i've been married i really haven't been wanting kids. i'm 23. i'm young. i'm extremely happy with my husband. we're spontaneous, we can pick up and go somewhere without worrying about anyone else. i'm busy. i'm developing my talents. i'm really enjoying married life without children.

until lately...

for the last month or so having children has been on my mind. i must pat myself on the back, i've lasted longer than some of my friends, but i am looking forward to the time when i will be a mother. i read an article in the Ensign yesterday (a wonderful magazine put out by our Church) and it focused on the joys of motherhood.

i used to worry that being a mother would cramp my intellectual learning, cramp time for myself, and cramp my growth as a woman. i have recently realized for myself (apart from hearing it all my life), and this article reaffirmed my thoughts, that motherhood is the pinnacle of womanhood. mothers, if they are even somewhat involved with their children's learning, learn more about a wide variety of topics than probably any other role a woman can have ("Mom, why this and why that?"). mothers, also, are exposed to learning about health care, nutrition, finances, travel, religion and education.

motherhood is truly a divine role. mothers are entrusted with the most valuable posession in this world--small, impressionable children.

in addition to my own role as a mother, i am thrilled at the prospect of seeing my husband as a father. we have several friends with small children, and his eyes sparkle when he plays with them. he finds so much joy while interacting with them, and will often talk to me about it long after we've left our friends' houses. it makes me love him that much more. our relationship will find new depths with the addition of children. we'll have to learn to compromise more, learn to be more patient, forgiving, and financially capable. the addition of children to our little family gives us so much potential to GROW in all aspects of our lives--as individuals and as partners.

we're going to start trying to get pregnant in October of this year and i simply can not wait.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

fear

i burned 500+ calories at the gym this morning (or so the machine said). i've completely cut out all dessert and treat food from my diet. i've stopped eating every night at 7:30 p.m. i've been going to the gym regularly now for nearly 2 weeks... and yet, i am deathly afraid to weigh myself.

what if all my efforts have been in vain? what if the weight is destined to NEVER COME OFF? i simply can not face that. i don't feel any lighter, i don't think i look any better, the scale will probably tell me the same story.

i've never been a samll girl, but i've reached an all-time high and have about 30 pounds to lose! that is more than some of the Sunbeams in my primary weigh!

i promise you, sometime this week i will face the scale, one on one. i, too, can overcome.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

it's a wonderful life

i think it's important to be grateful for the blessings we've been given, and today there is something for which i am particularly grateful-- my husband.

my husband amazes me. the driving force behind everything he does is to better our little family. he is selfless, he is kind, he is silly, he is romantic, he is handsome, he is intelligent, he is forgiving, he is trustworthy, he is faithful, he is simply wonderful.

marriage is beautiful, the most beautiful committment into which we can enter. without my husband, without another pair of eyes, i would miss half of the things we're supposed to learn in this life. as i point out the beautiful sunset to him, he shows me the beauty of rap music. not that rap music or sunsets are the reason we're here, but i believe we are here to learn all things, and without him i would miss so much.

the most wonderful aspect of my marriage is how much my husband supports me. he knows the daughter, the sister, the mother, the wife, the woman i want to become, and he does all he can to help me realize these goals. with him, i feel my potential is limitless.

i do have a wonderful life and i owe it to my relationship with God, with Christ, and with my amazing husband. Jason, thank you.

Monday, January 23, 2006

i am so technologically savvy...a blog...wow...

i like this font, it strikes me as friendly.

a blog is a funny concept to me, i suppose it's because i'm such an avid journal writer. i write down the thoughts in my head on paper for many reasons-- for therapy, for documenting my life for my children, for remembering lessons i've learned, for time to sit and ponder aloud without it really being aloud. the sharing of thoughts with an invisible "someone" has always appealed to me. they don't pass judgement, they merely allow an outlet. and then, if i choose, i can share those journal entries with others. a blog, however, is available for all to see. i guess i'll have to see if this form of "thought" grows on me.